It seems like a no brainer - when your friend is in a shitty place, you’re going to open your heart for them. What if that shitty place is an abusive relationship? Do you know how far someone will go to keep control over another human?
We picked her up late in the evening. Idled in a parking lot behind their place, so he wouldn’t know where she was going, or how to find her.
I wanted her to be safe. To feel safe. But what if she wasn’t?
My dad once broke into the shelter my mom was staying in when my sisters were babies. He was waiting in her room for us when we got home. He was drunk. Angry. It’s still in my top 5 worst days of life & the memory of the fear is a part of who I am today.
The first few weeks of her freedom, I often expected to find him at the door, or window.
What if I forgot to lock the door? What if I did lock it & he breaks it down?
What if I was pouring fuel on a fire?
Scary thoughts. Scarier through the memories of a 5 year old.
I was scared, but I didn’t think about it. I didn’t think about her options; my options. I just offered her a space. I dealt with my very legitimate fear of retaliation without thinking. I didn’t mean to conquer fears. I just wanted to give her what we all deserve - a safe space to live.
I only realized how scary that had been when I started to write this list of fears. And then I only thought why it was scary right now - writing this. I’ll explore that memory of my dad at a later time, because I think I’ll learn a lot about myself through that day. This isn’t about him.
I’m not saying this is the right thing to do. I just did it. Always do what’s right for you. Be safe.