I don’t know how I didn’t realize the emotional toll this would take on me. In lots of ways. I feel really brave.
Reflecting on why something was scary & why it made the list has been its own separate journey. I’m learning a lot about the scars that remain from my childhood. Like, I had never shared the story about my dad breaking into the shelter.
I’ve had to take breaks for a few days at a time, to absorb the impact. Which occasionally has left me anxious, and quiet. I’ve also been trying to conquer more fears as I go, because I do feel brave, & ready. But the act of these things can be emotionally draining.
I’ve been patient with myself on this journey, because it’s my journey. I must show myself the patience that I believe everyone deserves.
Maybe I’ll write another today - maybe not.