I love my job. Truly. I’m not faking it when I’m singing, and dancing around the diner. I am really that high in energy, and I am choosing to bring my all with me every day. But - working with the public in general can be a challenge, and working as their server specifically has occasionally been... unrewarding.
At the beginning of the year I was working five days a week at the diner. Our shifts aren’t your quick 3 hour lunch rush, then home. Our days are/were/can be 6-8 hour brunch rush the entire time. Every day. It’s fun, and I love being busy - but dang girl, gravity is a cruel mistress. And I can feel how strong that pull is at the end of the day.
I was starting to feel - not just run down, but angry. Like all my energy was being used up at work. I felt like I had nothing left to give to myself.
I like being a shero for my people, so I tried to suck it up - like a dummy. But I can’t do that. My outside-of-diner family deserves better, and I deserve better. So, I spent literally all day writing, deleting, writing an email to John to tell him that I needed one more day off a week. I needed more time to myself to refill my well. That although I like to pretend - I am not actually a perpetual motion machine.
I finally sent the email, and let my jerkface brain make up all the possible responses that I could get. (I’m not going to repeat them, because I know your brain is a jerkface too.)
All the responses, except the obvious one - The one where it’s okay to be human.
The one where John says no problem, and appreciates my honesty, and honours my limits. Which is exactly what happened.
I’ve never been good at limits. I want to be all the things, to all the humans, all the time - and that’s impossible. I’m lucky that I have a boss who is kind, and who gets it. Who gets me.
Now I can be the best me possible every day. Every work day. Every home day.
Don’t be afraid to be scared.