Stood up against a workplace bully - Original post Dec.15ish, 2018

Bullies are everywhere. They suck so much.
If you’re a bully - that’s terrible. You can be better. It’s easy & it makes YOUR life nicer. We had a bully at the diner. It happened gradually... So slowly. The darkness couldn’t be held within them - it started to spread outward, and we were all impacted. Some, who couldn’t stand the eggshells, left. 

Others, me included - just tried to be positive & brave. **But listen - I have enough to be brave about - I don’t need another glob damn thing.** 

Not to be dramatic, but I felt like my beautiful home at the diner was being torn apart. I hated coming to work. I had no idea what kind of day it would be - Would I be on the friendly side or the other side? That kind of brave face is not sustainable. It’s fucking exhausting. 

One day, this workplace bully was physically demeaning to me. He patted me on the head in a disagreement. He physically touched the top of my head - to shut me up. I reacted with the usual cusses & what-the-fucks that you imagine.

I regret this, but I let it slide. Maybe I was afraid of being perceived as the one to cause problems. 

Anyway - Things were calm for a few weeks, but becoming physical is slippery slope, & once someone starts to slide down... - It happened again. 

I was furious. For days. 

Then I wrote every single thing down. Every insulting, hurtful, demeaning thing I had seen happen others & that had happened to me. I requested a meeting with my boss & then I wrote about how I didn’t know if this would work out. 

I was emotional at that meeting. The diner is more than a job for me - it is the longcabin of my workfamily. But I was scared that this human had more value than I did, because of so many things happening in front of people. And no one saying or doing anything. Everything being pushed aside as a snarky joke. 

Bullies - so good at hiding in plain sight. Because the bullied are silenced.
My Boss didn’t realize how bad things had become. I left our meeting feeling better. I left feeling heard, & we did see change. There are no bullies at the diner. I was reassured that I did have value at the diner, which I didn’t realize I hadn’t felt before. 

I’m lucky. 

Don't be afraid to be scared.

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